le blog de tranny

I know certain ppl in certain parts of the country have been freezing their balls off for the past few months but I can’t feel bad about that, BECAUSE THEY CHOSE TO LEAVE ME. Anyway we were supposed to have a barbecue for Ken’s birthday at our house like over a month ago and last week, finally, we got our shit together (incidentally the same weekend a heat wave descended upon SF). A trip to Costco, home of cheap ribs and lump crab meat, was the deciding factor in our spread that afternoon. Caro made the sticky spicy ribs we’ve made once before, to rave reviews from all who were present. I made some crab cakes which, for how labor intensive they can be, were surprisingly not that stressful to prepare. Maybe I just had the right amount of buzz going to really get in the zone.

Sparkling Sangria

I’d seen a recipe in an old issue of Bon Appetit for cava sangria that seemed perfect for the occasion but I thought, why not use prosecco instead since it’s so inexpensive at Trader Joe’s? I merged the BA recipe with one I found online by Michael Chiarello of all people (who was such a douche on Top Chef Masters, am I right?). Best part about this recipe is the fruit is reusable — we turned a bottle of red into more sangria after the sparkling batch had been consumed (which didn’t take long).

You need (I don’t really know how many servings this makes but you do the math — how many of your friends can 1 bottle of Prosecco stretch to satisfy? I doubled this recipe when I made it.):
- 2 bottles of Prosecco
- 1 cup of brandy
- 1/2 cup of orange liqueur (I used Triple Sec, unfortunately)
- 1/2 cup of white grape juice
- 1 green apple, sliced
- half a carton of strawberries, sliced
- 1 lime, sliced
- 1 orange, sliced
- 1 lemon, sliced
- 1 nectarine, sliced
- some fresh mint leaves, torn

Combine the fruit, mint, brandy and orange liqueur in a pitcher. Give it a quick toss and then let it sit in the fridge for at least an hour. Pour in the Prosecco just before serving.

Also on the menu that day: Caro’s aunt’s blue cheese coleslaw, burgers with blue cheese and avocado, potato salad, fruit salad, and chips and guacamole. And beer.

Crab Cakes with Caper “Aioli”
I put a fair amount of research into this one, looking at about 8 different crab cake recipes. One must be familiar with the literature on crab cakes before putting out original work on the subject, non? I love going through different recipes for the same dish and cherry-picking the elements that I think I’d most enjoy. But then if the final product doesn’t stand up to what you thought it would be, you’ve no one to blame but yourself. Anyway I know this isn’t exactly barbecue (since the grill is nowhere to be found in this recipe) but if you’re hosting a bbq and everyone else is using the grill, why not do something on the stove top instead?

You need (for ~40 generous crab cakes):
- 1 yellow bell pepper, small dice
- 1 red bell pepper, small dice
- garlic, minced
- 1 bunch of scallions, sliced
- 2 lbs lump crab meat, broken up
- 1 cup of mayonnaise
- 2 tbsp dijon
- juice of 1 lemon + zest
- 1 cup of panko breadcrumbs
- 2 eggs and 2 egg yolks
- fresh parsley, chopped
- fresh chives, chopped
- fresh dill, chopped
- Old Bay seasoning
- Sriracha or other hot sauce
- butter and oil (I think I used extra virgin olive oil for the bell pepper mixture and canola oil for frying the crab cakes)

For the caper aioli:
- capers
- mayonnaise
- a lemon
- fresh parsley

1. Saute the bell peppers with the garlic and green onion in melted butter and oil over medium low heat until tender, 15-20 minutes. Season liberally with Old Bay and s&p. Take off the heat to cool.
2. Combine the rest of the ingredients in a large bowl. (I’d add the eggs last so you can adjust for seasoning.) You’ll probably need to add more Old Bay. I’d say I used at least a tablespoon of Sriracha.
3. Add the cooled bell pepper mixture to the crab mixture. Mix well. Add more panko if the mixture seems too wet to form into crab cakes, but it should definitely be very moist.
4. Form the mixture into crab cakes. It’s better to have all the crab shaped into cakes before you start frying.
5. Working in batches, fry the crab cakes in a mixture of melted butter and canola oil over medium high heat until brown on both sides. Keep crab cakes warm in a 250 degree oven while you’re frying up the rest of them.

As I finished each batch I was placing the finished crab cakes in what I thought was a warming drawer. But it turns out this “warming drawer” doubles as a broiler, and since we had the oven on at 350 for the ribs, the crab cakes came out substantially browner than they were when I put them in. No harm done really; they were a bit browner than I would’ve liked but not by much.

[crab cakes with caper aioli]

Historically it’s always bothered me when a recipe claims to be an “aioli recipe” but is really just a recipe that calls for mixing mayonnaise with ingredients such as lemon juice and garlic. Such a recipe should be called a “lazy man’s aioli” recipe. But then again, caper aioli sounds so much better than caper mayonnaise doesn’t it? If it’s perfectly acceptable to call one the other then I’ll opt for the hoighty-toighty option, thank you. To make the caper “aioli” all I did was combine mayonnaise in a bowl with lemon juice, chopped capers and chopped fresh parsley to taste.

But one last thing before you go..

[rib porn]